Tuesday, May 22, 2018

May 22 Thought for the day...the art of listening




This has been harder for me, at times, than you might think. It may be for you too. Every day I would hear dozens of people's struggles, at the same time I am thinking about the direction the Lord wants to take us, prayerfully trying to keep others lifted up, hearing suggestions from some, and working on solving corporate and sometimes international church problems. All of this is going on in my head at the same time, so when I sat to listen to someone, it had been hard to focus. James challenges us regarding this issue.

"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." James 1:19

It is very easy to jump to quick decisions when hearing someone. I believe that is part of the difference between hearing and listening. The word James uses for "quick" has an important implication to it. It implies the idea of a runner running a race is so focused on winning that they block everything else out. Their "listening" is so intense that they do it with the desire above all else to win. James is saying we should be so focused on being a good listener that we would do with the intention of winning the race of being a good listener, listening with intentionality. There are times when this is simply impossible for me, so I have to turn off my phone or stop others from talking at the same time because as a Christian listening to others is absolutely necessary.

As a young mentee, I would start to talk over my mentor. He was gracious and allowed me to make the mistake of missing out on much that he had to say because of my arrogance and ignorance. Then I had the "aha" moment of realizing my mentor was wise, and I needed to learn to listen rather than speak. People who are hurting, confused, lost, need to be heard. Even if I don't agree with them, I will still listen because in speaking to one who will listen, most people find their answers.

In being intentional about listening and working to focus, I will often repeat to the person...

“Is this what you’re trying to tell me?” “Is this the point you’re making to me today?” “Is this what you want me to get from this conversation?” “Is this what you want me to do after we’re done talking?” “Is this how I need to respond?” “Is there anything else I need to know about this?”

Asking these questions makes sure I don't miss anything. It will assure the person I am talking to that I am listening.

Listening is the first step to excellent communication. If you can learn to listen you will become a great team player, be able to resolve many conflicts and help people and yourself,  get to where you need to be, and ultimately win the race. Listening is indeed an art!


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