One thing that escapes many people is peace. (Can you see yourself sitting at this peaceful lake?)The problem is their misery often spills over to everyone else. So is there a key to have peace in any relationship at any time? Peter thinks so!
For “He who would love life And see good days, Let him refrain his tongue from evil, And his lips from speaking deceit. 11 Let him turn away from evil and do good; Let him seek peace and pursue it. 1 Peter 3:10,11
If you want to have peace if you want to really love life because without peace life can be miserable, follow Peter's wisdom. First, "refrain your tongue from evil!" When Peter says "refrain" he is saying, stop, take a pause, take a break. Often when we are about to go on a rampage, there is a point where we could stop and bring our "evil" under control. The Holy Spirit is telling us, do that! "Evil" is something vile, foul, destructive, ugly words than when spoken bring destruction rather than a blessing! If we are willing to take a breath, think before we speak, I often ask people to ask themselves, "what is the outcome I am looking for here?" We can change our thoughts and actions to acquire the outcome we want.
When Peter is talking about "deceit" the word means manipulation. If your goal is to terrorize someone, to tear them down to make yourself look better, to control the way a person thinks about someone else, or to just blow up in anger to push someone away or control the situation you are moving in manipulation which is as witchcraft according to the Bible. People learn to do this as children. They stomp their feet, whine and cry, and if Mommy and Daddy run to their aide, they have learned to control their parents. Uncorrected immature adults will do the same thing. You know some of them, they throw temper tantrums even in the name of God! It is witchcraft, manipulation according to scripture and has no place in any Christian relationship. It is dishonest in any relationship.
Peter tells us the next key to a peaceful life and relationships is to decide to do everything in your power to turn away from evil and in fact to make it a constant habit to choose to perform "good" for each other.
Last, the way to gain a peaceful life and relationships is to "pursue it." I described this word, one other day but it means to chase after peace like a hunter pursues his pray. We must strategize peace, plan for it, choose it, and go after it until it is fully in your hands.
If you will notice what the Holy Spirit is telling us here through Peter. Peace and peaceful relationship are all about our choices. Yes, peace is part of the fruit of the Spirit, but the fruit of the Spirit is about character development, and that too is about choice. You can have peace always. It doesn't really depend on others. We would hope they would want to walk in peace but peace is our choice for us and we hope others will want to live there too.